23 Dec. 1994 ev.

My life is completely overrun by the The Priestess of the Silver Star, and she is in the mode for giving the sacrament of Pain. I have achieved Migraine as nearly constant, and live in a frozen feverish yellow-greenish light that is ... (gathering of negative laden adjectives omitted).
Despite my migraine, I one day get into the Temple to find out what does she want. (As if I didnt know.)

I call her by Godform assumption like that of the ATU Highpriestess. But with the name of the sumerian Moongodess Sin, as that is the name I hear when I focus upon the form. She eventually appears in bloody red, holding the moon crescent raised by one hand and the pentagram raised in the other.


The scribe: ”High Priestess : Give us thy vision, thy will.”

The Godess:

1) “Will? My Will?

2) Radiance that does, that goes, that fares furious as in any other mode, anyway.

3) The mercy that hates and in ways do melt with grins in the softness of the prolongeth enduration of the putrefactionary wounds – That is not me – though I know every little inch of it.

4) This mercy is not of me, I cannot say of whom, for she aint to me – I know her not.
Though she spies always upon me and my work.

5) Plumes. The old ones.

6) I hate to see her cry, as the wound she is, unnessesary, but of twain will.


7) Hear me rather now. Belittle not the small ones, but take them silently as they are and heed:
In wakefulness I play, cold or hot, I commune with the LOT.

8) This is it.

9) Where I go astray in fury, damned and despised, failure and banishment, --- and then I do see.
I encircle, I do never lose it out of sight,
I do talk things I never listen to myself as I approach –
The silent and deaf stone,
I feel it, I am it,
Ï go berserk in the middle of it,
I do catch allFire,
I do go furious, but in the middle AND


10) From the cold ash is there no radiance, only silence.
That silence is good, most benefactory.

11) The old circumference of the lot, can be spendt in Grace.

12) The Sirens do call now as ever and they do warn as well.

13) Kings rule, Kings go, Kings maintain their lot.
The lot is Kingdom.

Heed me better from now on.


Comments March 2003ev.:

1) She politely pretends to be surprised, instead of saying, “thats not what you wanted to hear, you wanted to hear why your impurities are making you suffer.”

2) She answers my vocalized question, and goes on to answer my real question in paragraphs 3,4 & 6.
Its pretty plain. The word of Mercy is death. Any misunderstood mercy, which tends to produce crippleds instead of clean cuts is simply evil. Its of fake will or thwarted will.

5) Possibly a reference to her prefered dressing as of Egypt.

Yes – this part is whats interesting. The lot is a masonic symbol, but it also by folk tradition refer to ones fate and destiny. Those things that weighs you down, and in the end make you fall.
And she promised death to the blind stone – could we possibly hope for anything better? No. She is a true cure to the blindfold of the shutups, though its painful.
But her place and reference in the Twin Mass gives her the essence to work on, not small kleshas, and thats the way it should be.